11.Gets very drunk on butterbeer and has one-night stand with Dementor. Finds out its "Hump of Despair" is way worse than its "Kiss of Death."
10. Luna provides Harry with some bad acid. While tripping, Harry thinks he can fly without his broom and dies jumping from window in astronomy tower.
9. Murdered by Ron after Hermione gets caught holding Harry's wand.
8. Smothered by Veela breasts.
8. Trampled by a mob of liberated house elves.
6. Neville finds out about the prophecy and gets jealous. Pushes Harry to his death down the stairs then bungles attack on Voldemort. Evil wins.
5. Catches Wizard's Syphilis from Ginny Weasley.
4. Harry becomes Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and you know how that turns out.
3. "Accio butcher knife" spell goes horribly wrong.
2. Accidentally walks in on Professor McGonagall naked. Tears eyes out. Bleeds to death.
1. Blood can't reach brain after a casting Viagrus Eternus on himself.
Honorable Mention for gamer-geeks: Voldemort snipes him with an Avada Kedavra, then corpse-camps Harry for eight hours.